Friday, February 18, 2011

O Sweet Nectar, Dark Nectar

  Saria loved the sweet nectar. His sweet nectar. She had never drank it before, but she saw such joy in the eyes of others receiving it. It was so golden, so crystal clear. So many times had she longingly watched him harvest the nectar from the beloved fruits that grew on his vines, his golden vines.  She thought her life would never be complete without the taste touching her tongue, just once.                                                               
 A day came along when the nectar boy passed her and after a moment came back with a smirk on his face. Without a word he placed a single drop of the sweet nectar on her palm. She could hardly believe it, and of course, touched the nectar to her mouth. The rich taste was worth the wait, she thought. Elegant and creamy, smooth and dreamy, nothing she had tasted could compare. 
  This happening became almost a routine, each time with the nectar boy placing one drop more in here palm than before. It just kept getting better and better and she could hardly stand being so glad with the new flavorful life she was living. And she grew ever more enchanted by the boy; feeling helpless when she happened to hear him in the orchards, woefully crying to the nothing there with him.
  Another day came where she had met another girl who had sipped over the nectar long before she herself had, and knew it so well. But this girl did not seem to savor the taste anymore and mocked it time to time, even as the girl still drank it.
 To Saria's partial dismay, she started receiving the nectar noticeably less and less. And as time went on, the other girl had told her of all the true darkness of the drink. "It's that rotten nectar boy. I love him and I hate him. I hope he dies." What is so wrong with the nectar boy?, Saria thought to herself. I am just happy I receive the nectar. But the bitter truth was not far from her.
  As Saria told the other girl of how she got nectar fewer and farther between, all was revealed. "That's what he does. He used to give me so much, he always came to me and gave me nectar. Now I have to beg for it because I just can't let it go. He did the same to all of my closest friends. Don't get hooked on it. He comes to you and gives you one taste, then does this again and leaves you aching for more. Soon you're trapped in a never-ending loop of pain."
 Suddenly it all made sense. That was why he had come to her when she was thirsty, not because he cared, but to trap her like he had done to so many others. A swirl of brokenness and betrayal overcame her and she cried all that night. The worst part was that she couldn't ever come close to him again when she had grown so fond of him. The nectar didn't even matter anymore. All she wanted was to show the nectar boy how much she cared and that he doesn't need to feel needed. He only needed her to show him the way.
 For such a long time she had been terrified of rejection, mostly because she didn't want to care for someone and lose them. Her father had left her family and each time he saw her, he acted like nothing was wrong and told her he loved her. Someone she cared so much for had left her there, and now tried to win her with lies. Soon she was skeptical anytime someone showed that they cared.
 This was my worst fear come true, she thought. Why did he ever come to me? Why couldn't he just have left me alone?
Saria is I.

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